Carpe Diem

We often think of drug addicts, alcoholics, or just addicts in general when we hear the term “rock bottom.” Or at least I always did. I am convinced now that the term applies to every single person on this planet. Not too long ago, I was at what I consider my rock bottom. I had developed quite a few “disorders” over my 36 years, and they were out of control. OCD and anxiety are my main “issues,” and the power they had—unchecked together—sent me into a frenzy I had never felt before. Christmas 2023 was when it started to become so intense I could barely bear it. My obsession with protecting my family, along with my obsession with not dying and leaving them, and my obsession to people-please, was the perfect ingredient for disaster. I was lying in bed “calm,” waiting for my husband’s parents to arrive for our Xmas visit when suddenly I was having a full-blown panic attack. This panic attack was different from the few times I had experienced before because this time there was no obvious t...

One of my hardest lessons lately has been accepting that I cannot make anyone see what they aren’t ready to see. I’ve always carried a “hero” complex, something that began in childhood. My father was a drinker, often staying out late. At 8 years old, I felt alone. My mother had chosen peace, my older sister wanted little to do with me, and my nights were spent waiting anxiously for my father to return—often with bloody knuckles. He called me his “little nurse,” and I took on that role eagerly, cleaning his wounds as if fixing him would somehow fix the chaos around me. It gave me a sense of control, a purpose amid uncertainty. But as I dive deeper into myself and embrace my own spirituality, I keep confronting the same truth: I cannot save others by force. No words, no actions can make someone see before they are ready. Growth is a solo journey. The best I can do is continue forward, holding my lantern high, so that if and when they are ready, they’ll know which way to go. And if they d...

We’ve all heard the phrase,  “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”  It’s said as if wanting it all is too much to ask. But why wouldn’t I want to eat my cake? Isn’t that the whole point of having it in the first place? This morning, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ve been standing in my own way. I’ve been desperately trying to raise my vibration, but I’ve still been allowing outside things—bad news, my husband’s attitude, circumstances beyond my control—to dictate my success. But the truth is, they don’t.  I do. I have to keep working on  me . I have to keep shifting my perspective so that I am no longer affected by the things happening around me. It’s not about them. It never was. It’s about me. It’s about the energy  I  choose to stand in. It’s about recognizing that my success, my peace, my growth—they are mine to claim. The Mind Trick For so long, we’ve been conditioned to believe that wanting  more —more love, more success, more peace, more...

The solar eclipse blood moon was incredible to witness. My husband, my two older boys, and I woke up at 2:30 a.m. just to see it! It was breathtaking. I have felt some strong emotions over the past week or so, and at first, I was hard on myself. “You’re backtracking. Think happy thoughts,” I kept telling myself. Watching the moon’s light be snuffed out by the Earth resonated with me on so many levels. The Earth, I’m sure, didn’t mean to snuff out its light—but it did. How true is that when compared to human behavior? I consider myself a good soul. I don’t intentionally harm anyone or anything, but I do from time to time. I’ve been toxic even when I didn’t realize it. I don’t shame myself for this—I am human, after all. Instead, I relish the clarity and gratitude I feel because of my self-awareness and ability to see the big picture. I can continue to grow and improve so that I am less likely to snuff out the light of those I love, but I acknowledge that sometimes, you can’t see past yo...

I have a deep feeling inside that tells me I need to share my experiences with others. I need to be the light that guides people to live the way they were meant to. Our trauma is a part of us. But if we embrace it and flip the script, it doesn’t have to be the reason our life felt wasted. Instead, it can be the very thing that fuels our growth—our strength, our purpose. My mistakes showed me who I am not. Hardships can go either way. We can allow them to consume us, snuffing out our beautiful light and turning us into part of the world’s problems. Or we can take those hardships and use them as fuel. Fuel to break the cycles. Fuel to rise above and become pure of heart, eager to help others. Fuel to become a safe space for the “broken” because we, too, know what it is to burn. I know this because I lived it. When I was eight, my mother passed away, leaving me with a father whose soul was already broken. He loved drinking more than he loved himself. And when he met his life partner—a wom...

There are different layers of trauma and emotions. There’s the obvious, loud trauma that you cannot ignore. It screams so loudly, and the events live inside you, waiting to be felt. Then there’s the type that hides within—maybe forgotten or simply overlooked, downplayed. It’s harder to move through hidden trauma because you may not even realize it’s there, or perhaps you don’t feel it’s significant enough to require special attention. It’s like a splinter: so small that you may not notice it right away. But if you pick at it, it becomes painful. I’ve always wondered how such a small thing can be so painful. Recently, I’ve been diving into that level of healing—the things I felt weren’t worth the attention or, in some cases, thought I had addressed and worked through. I’ve had a few topics, once acknowledged, that just smacked me in the face, punched me in the gut, and brought forth tears so unexpectedly. It made me realize how important it is to slowly dive into all parts of yourself. ...

We live in an extremely difficult time when it comes to developing spirituality. Technology is amazing, but it’s also capable of clouding and distracting you from what truly is important. Cell phones have blinded us to the truth that we do not need to always be available! Sometimes, just slowing down, grounding yourself, and feeling a true connection to both yourself and this beautiful planet is exactly what we need! Yet society may make you feel that that’s not acceptable. IT IS ABSOLUTELY ACCEPTABLE AND ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY! We should always be there for this world and others when we can, but trying to take on too much will undoubtedly cause you to lose progress. Breathe slowly and let it go!